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“For us, war is an admission of failure and it is always the worst solution.” Our beloved French President, Jacques Chirac   Well, it’s finally happened.You’ve silenced the media, plundered the treasury, killed all your political opponents, jailed all the dissidents, privatized most of the States best property into the names of your relatives and the gruesome work of your secret police is winding down as you find yourself with no one left to kidnap, torture and kill. As is usually the case for those brave, visionary and iconic rulers such as yourself, simply trying to bring peace, stability and democracy to the nation you love, forever pledging to free your people from tyranny, you are now being wrongly accused of genocide by the typical meddlers in the West. It was a good run. Now, after years of emphatic denial of the facts, driven by your own psychosis, narcissism and megalomania, you are finally confronted with the inevitable as rebel forces move closer to the capital, shouting anti government slogans, burning effigies of you and your family and killing anyone found to be associated with you and your regime. You are out of time. But thanks to your French associates, you are not out of friends. You know you are facing overwhelming opposition and a losing fight but with our help, you can avoid the fight completely with an effective surrender solution from French Mercenaries LTD. Why Let French Mercenaries LTD Assist You in Your Surrender? France has a rich military history, steeped in tradition as well as tales of uncommon valor and legendary heros, including such famous military leaders such as Joan of Arc. Joan of Arc, our most famous military leader, was a schizophrenic prepubescent girl who dressed as a boy to lead her troops to victory in battle. Our lengthy military history and cases such as this, have taught us many powerful lessons which we use to the benefit of our clients. In this example, it is that fighting can be embarrassing and humiliating and haunt and disgrace your nation forever,… even when you win. Our nation is the worlds foremost leader in military surrender and now, we bring that extensive, hard won experience to you. We are French and we know how to avoid the fight! Our Mission To assist you and your regime in every complicated and trying aspect of both ignoring and thwarting national and international security policies and law, as you conduct your government as you see fit, as is your sovereign right to do so. And when the enevitable end of your rule comes, we can provide you with a safe exit should the international community or rebel factions choose to wrongly enforce their world view and ideas on “proper governance” on your tiny, disadvantaged nation which you've done your best to better. |
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